Funny Quotes

1. “I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”
2. “I’m not lazy; I’m in energy-saving mode.”
3. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
4. “I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands and fingers.”
5. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
6. “I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.”
7. “I’m not clumsy; the floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.”
8. “I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.”
9. “I’m not a complete idiot – some parts are missing.”
10. “I’m not short; I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

Hilarious saying- Funny quotes

1. “I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.”
2. “Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.”
3. “I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.'”
4. “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”
5. “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”
6. “Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.”
7. “I don’t need a hairstylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”
8. “I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.”
9. “I’m not lazy; I’m in energy-saving mode.”
10. “I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.”
11. “I’m not lazy; I’m in energy-saving mode.”
12. “I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”
13. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
14. “I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands and fingers.”
15. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
16. “I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.”
17. “I’m not clumsy; the floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.”
18. “I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.”
19. “I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.”
20. “I’m not a complete idiot – some parts are missing.”

Short funny quotes

1. “I’m not short; I’m just more down to earth than most people.”
2. “I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.”
3. “Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.”
4. “I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.'”
5. “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”
6. “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”
7. “I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.”
8. “Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.”
9. “I don’t need a hairstylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”
10. “I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.”
11. “I’m not lazy; I’m in energy-saving mode.”
12. “I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.”
13. “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”
14. “I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”
15. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”

Funny quotes about friends

best hilarious funny quotes about friends:

1. “Friends are like snowflakes. If you pee on them, they disappear.”
2. “I don’t need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets. I have my friends for that.”
3. “A friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself and especially to feel, or not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at any moment is fine with them.”
4. “I asked my friend to help me with math. He said, ‘I can’t solve your problems.’ I said, ‘You’re my friend, not a calculator!'”
5. “A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.”
6. “Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.”
7. “I’m not saying my friends are losers, but if they jumped off a cliff, I wouldn’t jump with them; I’d be at the bottom to catch them.”
8. “A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.”
9. “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'”
10. “You and I are more than friends. We’re like a really small gang.”

Best Funny quotes about friendship

1. “Good friends don’t let you do stupid things… alone.”
2. “A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”
3. “Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.”
4. “Friends buy you lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.”
5. “I was an innocent being…then my best friend came along.”
6. “Friendship is so weird. You just pick a human you’ve met and you’re like, ‘Yep, I like this one,’ and then you just do stuff with them.”
7. “Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.”
8. “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'”
9. “A true friend stabs you in the front.”
10. “Friendship is like a cake; it takes a while to bake, but it’s worth the wait.”

Funny quotes

1. “Friends are like stars. You may not always see them, but you know they’re always there making you look good.”
2. “A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else.”
3. “Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.”
4. “Friends buy you lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.”
5. “I changed all my passwords to ‘incorrect.’ So whenever I forget, it will tell me, ‘Your password is incorrect.'”
6. “Friends don’t let friends do silly things…alone.”
7. “I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”
8. “A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.”
9. “A friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself.”
10. “I don’t need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets. I have my friends for that.”

Hilarious funny quotes- Funny quotes

1. “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'”
2. “A true friend stabs you in the front.”
3. “Good friends don’t let you do stupid things alone.”
4. “Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.”
5. “I’m not saying my friends are losers, but if they jumped off a cliff, I wouldn’t jump with them; I’d be at the bottom to catch them.”
6. “A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.”
7. “Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.”
8. “Friends buy you lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.”
9. “I was an innocent being…then my best friend came along.”
10. “Friendship is so weird. You just pick a human you’ve met and you’re like, ‘Yep, I like this one,’ and then you just do stuff with them.”

Friendship funny quotes

1. “Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.”
2. “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'”
3. “A true friend stabs you in the front.”
4. “Friendship is like a cake; it takes a while to bake, but it’s worth the wait.”
5. “Friends are like stars. You may not always see them, but you know they’re always there making you look good.”
6. “A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else.”
7. “Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.”
8. “Friends buy you lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.”
9. “I changed all my passwords to ‘incorrect.’ So whenever I forget, it will tell me, ‘Your password is incorrect.'”
10. “Friends don’t let friends do silly things alone.”

There are funny quotes hope so these help you to make fun.